Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
