I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
