I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
