Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
