Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
