It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
