I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
