I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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