if you like me you must not know who I am
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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