So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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