when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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