You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
