So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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