We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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