It's like God shit irony all over that family
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
