I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
