I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
