belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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