I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
