So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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