I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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