They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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