This is not my ceiling
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
