Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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