Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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