I'm lost and stupid without you.
Welp...herpes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
