Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
