Cold hands, warm shart.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
