i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
