This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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