He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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