I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
