I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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