Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
