Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
