living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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