Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so that wasnt chicken after all
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
