A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
