Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
