Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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