um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
