i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Found your dick twin last night
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
