They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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