he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
