the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
