I CAN MOONWALK!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
