Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
