we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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