I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
should my penis look like a turkey
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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