I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
