i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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