she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Randomize
