Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The air was thick with penises
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
